Dear Phoenix,
At present, I am in market research. I've been at it for 25 years and I'm looking to leave the field and do something entirely different. I enjoy working with infants or young children. I would appreciate any suggestions or a starting place.

Thanks,
At a turning point

Dear Turning Point,

I would suggest checking with the city to see if there are any openings to work with children in an already established city center or childcare facility. This way you can get a feel for things and make sure this is really what you want to do. In observing how the facility is run, you may come up with ideas of how to "better" the system already in place. There are many things children need besides more "baby sitters". Observe and find the thing or things that are missing and then strike out on your own to provide that. Look for what isn't being provided for children in your community and you will have something to offer that's not there. Or, you may find that it really wasn't what you thought it would be at which point you will need to reassess exactly what profession would make you happy.

Good luck on your journey. I hope you find your "niche" and can help the many children in need in some significant and rewarding way.

Phoenix

Dear Phoenix,
I have never been happy or content. I have 3 beautiful and talented children, a husband who is faithful and hard working, a spacious home, yet I feel terrible and empty. I want to find a place to hide. I'd like to live in a boarding house, find a simple job to meet my needs and leave all I have behind without even saying goodbye.

Empty

Dear Empty,

Getting to know yourself and search your soul may give you answers as to why you feel you have never been happy or content. Something must be missing and you need to find out what that is. Inner work on ones self, though not easy, can prove very rewarding in the long run.

I learned long ago that you can't run from yourself, because yourself will follow you wherever you go. Even in a small town, you will still have to live with yourself and until you change your perspective and search inside to locate what is making you so empty, you will not be happy anywhere.

If a piece of you or pieces of you are missing, you must search for those missing bits of you that have been forgotten or misplaced. You are not alone. Everyone, at one time or another feels empty, alone and confused about life. The search for happiness doesn't come from things, the outside, or others, but from inside each of us.

You may have to become a detective, of sorts and investigate yourself, your life and just try to find out when you first felt empty. Dedicate part of each day to self-awareness and self-discovery. There are many helpful books on the market that you could put to use in your search for "you".

Life is the school. We are all here to learn and improve as we grow. A study of self will net enormous rewards if you are willing to devote the time to yourself. A wonderful book to start with would be "The Seat of the Soul" by: Gary Zukav. Another great one is "the Little Book of Letting Go" by: Hugh Prather

We are all products of the choices we have made in life, and if you are ready for a life change, you must first choose to do so and then devote all your energy to learning, repairing and growing in a new, "full" direction.

I wish you a positive perspective on your journey through this life.

Phoenix

Confused

Dear Confused,

No matter how nice this guy is; I'd back off. He needs time to heal and find himself. If he doesn't know himself, he certainly can't give to you. Be friends. Let him recover and then see what happens. Give him time to get to know how terrific you are. Moving too fast could just make you another failed relationship on his belt. Talk to him and get to know him before ever letting things heat up too much. If you move too fast and start sleeping with him, you'll never know if he likes you for "you", or you for comfort and sex. Through conversations, you can find out what went wrong with his last relationship and, as you get to know him, you may find you don't really want a relationship with him after all. Of course, on the other hand, you may find that you do. How will you ever know if you move to fast? Remember a prairie fire moves hot and fast, yet burns out quickly. Slow down and get to know him first, then see where it takes you.

Take tiny steps on any path along your journey.

Phoenix

Mixed up

Dear Mixed up,

When in doubt, do nothing. Back off and don't go for either man until you have had the time to get back on track yourself. You could be stirring the pot of bad luck and broken hearts mixing an ex with his best friend. Learn to love yourself. Build your confidence and self- esteem. When you have tapped into your inner security, you may find that neither man is what you want. You may enjoy your independence once you find that you can survive quite nicely without a man. Enjoy your own company for awhile. You should never "need" anyone and there is no rule that you have to have a boyfriend to be whole. Learn to stand on your own two feet. After all, a lot of men are attracted to a woman who can stand on her own and doesn't appear too needy.

Good luck on your journey of self-discovery.

Phoenix

Crossroads

Dear Crossroads,

What would the higher studies mean to you? Is it something that would bring you great joy or do you feel that you are ready for a change? If you have to force yourself to study and hate going to class, perhaps enough is enough, or you just may need a break.

When things are going smoothly, we all feel freer. Colors look brighter, smells become intoxicating and life is truly beautiful, yet life does not operate without flux. Trust your inner wisdom to show you the way. A person can actually feel the difference when something isn't right for them. Listen to and feel this inner wisdom we all possess. Quiet yourself long enough to listen and feel from the inside.

Go with what will make you the happiest in your days ahead. Money has a purpose, but is not, nor should it be, the ultimate goal on your journey through this life. Strive to find what it is that will enrich your life, then do what is necessary to move in that direction.

May you find inner peace on your journey.

Phoenix