Midnight Rendevous

Editor's Commentary

When I was a very young child, I thought my toys came alive, when I fell asleep! I would try to stay awake to catch them, as they yawned and stretched to get ready for their nightly activities. I just knew they were going to have a meeting, and I wanted to see it. Needless to say, the sandman always got to me before I could catch them. Perhaps the sandman and my toys were in cahoots!

Now I'm much older. I don't believe toys meet in the night. Now, I believe appliances do! They must! I'm convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Too many times in my adult life, I've experienced a sequence of appliance failures. One goes then the next and so on. I feel this isn't a coincidence at all, but more likely a conspiracy!

I envision their meeting at midnight to go something like this:

"I heard them talking today," says the microwave, "they've managed to save a goodly sum of money. I think this could really work to our advantage. I've been vibrating molecules for years now and my old glass plate can't take it any longer! I'm planning to break my plate tomorrow, while they've got the money, and get a brand new one"

"Now wait just a minute," sputters the old washer, "I've been chugging along for almost twenty years now and my motor is shot. I could use a transplant, so I'm going to expire Wednesday, when she's using me again."

Not so fast," fumes the oven, "I need a new burner!"

"Wait, wait," shouts the heater, "I've been blowing hot air every winter since this house was built. That should give me some seniority around here. I need a new filter and a complete overhaul. I was planning on shutting down soon and now that I hear they have that extra money, I'll be shutting down real soon."

"Not before I get a shot of Freon, you don't!" wheezes the freezer.

"Hey, don't forget, I already told you at our last meeting, I need a new belt!" coughs the vacuum.

"Well I'm sick of projecting," sighed the television. "Have you seen the junk those two have been watching lately? My circuits are shot!"

"Okay, okay," flashes the light, "I just need a new bulb for myself and two of my friends, and I think I have a bright idea! If we time this right and agree on a schedule by dawn, we should all be able to get what we want before their money runs out."

"Well, we'll have to move quickly," pops the toaster, "I heard the car talking to the mower just yesterday!"

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